Hungover, Rambled Update.

Ok so last night i met up with Charmer - we pregamed it with friend of mine, Hollywood. We then went clubbing and had a blast, and afterward we came back here and cuddled!!! (awww) it felt so nice sleeping next to him, he held me all night. God this boy has me sprung!!!!! I am deathly afraid of scaring him off though with him being newer and all. He hasn't been in a gay relationship yet. A lot of this stuff is new to him. All I know is that last night, while lying in his arms i felt at peace, like i could finally exhale. For the first time in a couple months i felt, just for one second, that everything was going to be alright.

So here's the bitch - he just started a 2nd job and in a few weeks he goes back to school, thank god its a local one. But 2 jobs, and college? I'm not trying to make wedding plans or anything but i wonder where i'll fit in if he decides to get serious with me. Last night after clubbing i very drunkenly asked him when is he going to ask me to be his boyfriend...he said "soon, but you're already mine" i felt like i was going to melt right there. He says things that just mesmerize me...

Back to reality, i wake up this morning after Charmer went to work, and my younger sister, Cassie, tells me that Choch text messaged her last night saying "see you in two weeks at the baptism!!" I felt like crying, now I have to worry about him coming to my niece's baptism and stalking me, I honestly feel a little nervous about him, I had to change my number twice last week bc he found it out, the 2nd time he got my new number in a matter of minutes of me changing it. No worries, though, he cant get it now. However he has come up to my work and tries to keep in touch with my friends to find out what I am up to. This makes me feel extremely threatened and I do worry somewhat about my future well-being. Only to find out that I cannot file a restraining order because "Psychological battering, economical abuse, and harassment without mention of physical harm is not defined by that State of ********** as domestic violence/stalking."

I need my night and shining armor, oh how i miss Charmer so...maybe when we meet up tonight he can calm my fears...

p.s. Charmer is moving at the pace of a Special Olympic Hurdler when it comes to sex. Damn i want him so bad!!!! I dont mind waiting though, it'll make it all worthwhile in the end.